faithfulfilling

lately i've been having to accept things that make no sense to me.
to believe without seeing.
the proof may be in the pudding, but tapioca must be obscuring my vision.

and with the holiday season upon us... i can't help but think of the millions of humans in our world who live every day in faith.
but isn't faith the belief in something or someone positive?
acceptance is different.
you don't have to like the things you must accept.
in fact, you can downright despise them.
yet still... faith in moving on, faith in the future, faith that these hard times and hard changes were meant to be.... necessary. for sanity's sake. but sometimes it takes a lot of convincing.

now the linguistic in me is going nutso.
faithful. full'o'faith.

does Chance truly believe that Jamie Seaver will find him? that his place is with the person who abandoned him? ...who is totally out of reach...?? regardless if the movie ends happily ever after or not, being full of faith sure makes one look weak.

weak... or,......
wise?

although i (narrow-mindedly) tend to discredit people with religious faith... i realize now that there is something to be said for surrendering.

there is peace.


and i'll sign off with a few poignant words from my own demigod... ani.

"i would like to state for the record,
i did everything that i could do.
and i'm not saying that i am a saint,
i just don't wanna live that way.
no, i will never be a saint,
but i will always say....
squint your eyes and look closer,
i'm not between you an your ambitions.
i am a poster girl with no poster,
i am 32 flavors and then some."

2 by 3 tremble

mother you are so beautiful... gazing at me
walletsized
from the hug of my pine-framed mirror.

your handsewn promdress
icicle blue
draped over your ephemeral silhouette
his arm slung lazily alongside your thin waist.

did you know then how cold his words could be?
had he already begun to tie the marionette strings?

how often did you wear longsleeves in the humid summers?

did his storms remind you of grandpa?

beauty to my mind

En perseguirme, Mundo, ¿qué interesas?
¿En qué te ofendo, cuando sólo intento
poner bellezas en mi entendimiento
y no mi entendimiento en las bellezas?

reckless love

i want it.

this

is how i feel today.

unsteady footing...
slave to the elements...
.dizzy.
.confused.
.not in control.

how curious.

i rarely sing in the shower but often on the toilet.

yay portfolio!

i can haz employment upon sf return?