haydee

nothing to do at work means long lunches with friends and plenty of time for artistic development!

you're a dream to me.

i had a pet lobster once

actually, it was a crawfish.
named howard.

speaking of howard...
while biking through the 6th & howard intersection this afternoon, i noticed that the little white walking symbol starts a considerable amount of time before the light turns green. i'm talking a good 3 seconds. (and this is city pace... so it's really like four weeks).

nowhere else in SOMA is like that. just good ol' 6th street.

i bet it's for the denziens.
crack and weed and steel reserve usually give you the sense that you're crossing a crosswalk eons quicker than you actually are. (besides racing crawfish, i also spent my childhood watching after school specials on PBS and re-writing my D.A.R.E. essay 16 times.)














ohhhhh 6th street..........
the beauty horror novelty personality.

¿ǝɹǝɥ ʇǝb ǝʍ pıp ʍoɥ

a twenty-something staring through the bookstore glass
shivering
at a romantic notion of living
the jack kerouac material-free life

while in the very next doorframe

a man lays upon grey concrete
shivering
from chill, hunger, and withdrawal
in his fleece-free sleeping bag


"oh... valencia-a-a. with your blood still cold on the ground."

metaphoreplay

you are a friendly smile in a sea of republicans
you are a DQ® dipped cone on a humid summer day
you are more hope than the obama campaign on november 5th
you are more authentic than that first episode of survivor
you are a sweet familiar in a world of strangers
you are a G chord in a score of minor sixths
you are like water in a concrete desert
you are like coming home

i'm an ADULT

standing on the corner of market and 8th today, slurping the overflowing gutter of my to-go cup-o-joe, i was struck with the realization that i may not know what the hell i'm doing.

in life.

at life.

and this wasn't just your ordinary, "yeah there's coffee dripping down my forearm while my left foot is standing in a urine trail and two of my three tote bags are losing their tupperware containers."
rather... this was a rare moment of paralyzing fear.

thoughts flooded my cranium.

i'm too young for this!
i'm only a baby, an infant!
i know nothing! i can do nothing!
i CERTAINLY shouldn't be trusted with myself!!!!

it took a good couple of stoplight successions to regather my composure and onward march. regather i did, but the doubts still lingered.

perhaps it is something that everyone goes through. and not just once, but time and time again... when the going gets tough and the confidence|mobile is putt-puttering for some more hope|propane.

frightening as it is to recognize that you're on your own... that's just part of the deal.
there's no time to mope.
there is life to be lived, and there is shit to get done.

plus, big girls don't cry.

evan, this is for you.